This post is scheduled to go up on the 39th anniversary of my marriage. If you want to aim to replicate some aspect of my life, I recommend the family aspect.
When it comes to small-scale society, my personal views are extremely conservative. I really believe that the old-fashioned stable marriage, with children and grandchildren and a close-knit family, is the way to go. I see the cultural-elite disrespect for that sort of family as sad and disturbing.
Almost all of my writing concerns large-scale society. When you ask about the role of government, I believe that the libertarian response is usually the best. I don’t lose any sleep trying to come up with ways for government to promote social conservatism.
I try to maintain separation between micro-morality and macro-morality. I recognize that in some ways the two realms collide. But I believe that keeping them conceptually separate helps to avoid a lot of the worst intellectual errors.
I believe that micro-morality matters more than macro-morality. I have total respect for friends who have political beliefs that differ from mine and who have maintained solid marriages. I feel a sense of distance and distrust toward men whose political beliefs I generally share but who have left behind their families for the younger woman.
My wife is one of the few people I have known who appear to me to live their lives constantly asking “What would a righteous person do in my situation?” These are the people that I think of when I hear the term tzadik, which is Hebrew for “righteous one.” My wife’s sister’s husband is another tzadik. I did not know him well, but a businessman and philanthropist who was killed in a traffic accident earlier this month came across to me (and to others) as another tzadik.
I don’t see myself as a tzadik to that degree. In the realm of micro-morality, I avoid doing bad, but I don’t go out of my way to do good. I would grade myself as B+.
According to Helen Fisher’s personality theory, my wife and I are not a good match, and indeed our friction points are the ones that Fisher would predict. But the combination of a tzadik and a B+ has held up quite well.